I’ve been debating if I wanted to type this out today. Apparently I’ve decided to, so here goes –whatever the consequences–…
Sometimes I muse that people are secretly thinking I am not a very good wife, that I don’t take good enough care of B, that I don’t work enough to help pay the bills, the house isn’t ever clean enough, and that I’m entirely too lazy. Then I figure out that sure, maybe others are thinking that, but mostly it’s just me thinking it myself. One would think I would do something about it, so why don’t I? I do not have an answer for that one, other than the fact I’m lazy 😦 Where do I find the motivation to improve? Where do I get the “old me”? Do I go back in time, kidnap her and suck out the essence of her motivation and inject it into the “now” me?
Sometimes I fight with being “depressive”, I know I don’t have any right to feel that way because my life is pretty good — loving husband, nice part time job with cool co-workers, cats that let me know they want me around when I have treats :p, so I don’t know why/what triggers it, just that sometimes I don’t feel like I’m good enough and it kind of just goes from there.
Sometimes I feel like I’m a very large baby who can’t keep emotions in check or react to “hurts” in an adult manner. Some people develop a thick skin, I’m not one of them.
There’s my post that people might think “Why would she post that? That’s not appropriate!”, but I guess it’s my blog and I can type what I want to, so hopefully someone can identify with it instead of tripping over it. *shrug*
Also, I got some ceramic ducks today from my mom. I might put them in the China Hutch.. it’s probably the safest place for them right now.